Celebrating Failure

1)      My Failure: During my fall semester of my freshman year, I came in with the idea that I was going to be some big shot surgeon someday. I had my head set that I would be a pre-health major. Little did I know how hard I would fail my chemistry and calculus class.

I barely passed any of the exams for both classes, and when the final came around I was done. Those two classes completely ruined my GPA and now I am playing a hard game of catch up.

2)      So what did I learn from this failure? Well I figured out how time consuming being both a music major and a pre-health major can be. I also figured out how much time marching band takes out of your life. However what I really realized was that I actually did not care for the medical field as I once thought. Yes those classes I took were hard, and yes I stretched myself too thin last semester so I won’t do that again, but I also allowed myself to think about things that I want. I saw that I still love music and want to stay in that major for fun, but I also saw that all along I have had an interest in English.

I always had a knack for writing and reading, as well speaking. Overall reading is my favorite pass time. I love poetry and classic literature, I can recite quotes from books and talk about Shakespeare and Thoreau for hours. I never brought forward the thought of maybe using my skills for a career, but instead followed what my parents expected from me. Medicine runs in my family, and I have interest in it, it’s just too bad that I am absolutely terrible at science and math. So I figured, why not do English and go to law school after? I like to argue, but I also strive for justice and equality. Perhaps this could help me lead that idea.

3)      Failure is embarrassing. It hurts and it sucks to be frank. We as Americans have grown up in this society that success is needed in everything at all times. We have this pressure from our parents, from school, but even more so from ourselves. We in the end are our worst critics. So when we fail, it completely ruins our self-confidence.

For me personally, I get emotionally anxious when I fail. I start to breathe fast and over think things. I start to visualize my future and how nothing I wanted can happen now, and I blame myself for being too lazy, too dumb, not talented enough, and just not good enough. I absolutely hate it.

However from my experience so far, I have realized I cannot do that to myself. Through this failure, I have been able to figure out what I really want. Sure I changed my major, but there is more to it than that. My music theory teacher said something that caught my attention this morning. He said, “You learn more from your failure’s than your successes”. True that professor. I have taken risks, I like to take a leap after some logically thinking, so this class has not really changed that about me. Instead it has given me the head to think about my idea of success. It may not be some crazy big job with lots of money, but it could happen. It may not be that I become the next big trombone player, but I could end up playing in Broadway. Instead, it is all about what makes my life my life, my happiness, my likes, my capabilities.